Posted in 9. Cambodia by Amanda Stoesz on 5/13/2012
Travel on the World Race could be an entire blog in its own… but for your sake, we aren’t going to go there completely.This month we are riding around our village in the bed of a pickup truck, traveling to different churches around the area. With our dress code of knees and shoulders being covered, we all jump into the matted bed, take off our shoes, and nestle down in the relentless heat ofthe sun.Bumping up anddown, left and right, we have yet to travel down the same dusty, red dirt road. Our destinations vary, but always have a gathering of the most beautiful people.
A wooden house on stilts… filled with over thirty pairs of hungry brown eyes, waiting for us as we climb up the ladder to join them.
Bamboo mats lining the dirt floor beneath a stilt house… comforting as we sing hymns and clap.
A concrete building with giant windows welcoming the beauty all around, and housing a place for the Holy Spirit to thrive.
I am overwhelmed with humility this month as each day we go and share the Lord’s love with a new group of brothers and sisters. The way these beautifully tan skinned people look at us when we enter a room can only be described as hung ry and thrilled. They want so much more Jesus, andare ready for him to overwhelm them. We sing songs, share our struggles and praises, and pray with each other. And suddenly… I don’t care that sweat isrolling down my back or that my legs are numb from sitting tail or style… none of that matters to me when I have reality in front of me. I have prayed more in this week for people to have food to eatand places to sleep than I ever have in my life.
How blessed am I to have the incredible opportunity to spend three weeks of my life, telling these people how significant they are in our Father’s eyes? How blessed I am to ride in the bed of a hot pickup around the rice fields of Kampot, Cambodia to share Christ’s love for all of his children?
Please, please pray for the village people here in Kampot, that they would be taken care of in the simplest ways – food to eat, a safe place to sleep, and clean water to drink. Please pray for an acclimation and adjustment to this heat, because it is wearing us thin. And please pray for strength and endurance as this is our 9th month on the race.
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Posted in 8. Thailand by Amanda Stoesz on 5/9/2012
Thailand’s word for me was community. My team, my hosts, Thachatchai. God blessed me with rich community last month and spoke to me louder about what community in his kingdom looks like.
It looks like servings those around you, even when you don’t want to or feel under appreciated. It looks like dropping personal barriers and not being offendable. It looks like sacrifice for others. It looks like picking up neighbors when a tsunami warning is issued. Community looks like a safe environment for vulnerability, the kind that allows for hearts to open and grown women to share their deepest and darkest sins with each other, and see how God redeems and blesses that confession. Community looks like lunches and dinners eaten at Ting’s laughing about old memories, and talking about the Lord’s presence in Thailand.
Dana and Cindy’s obedience to God’s calling to live in Thailand still amazes me, especially when I get tired and homesick after 8 months of being away. Seeing the way they intentionally put the entire community before themselves and love them all the best they can revealed to me how much more love I am capable of with Jesus. Stepping into the village that they have already loved on, and being able to soak and give in to that through service was such a blessing. Raking jungle leaves and painting a church have never been so satisfying, knowing it is all Jesus’ love.
I had the honor of being immersed in a rich sisterhood last month as well. The Lord revealed hurt and chains that sill had a hold of my heart, and set me free, to further be the woman I am in him. He allowed hearts to open and soften with his love, so that we could push each other to be more like Christ. I believe this is just a taste of what community looks like too. Just an appetizer for what God has for all of his children. He believes in community, so much. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit – all as one in community.
I cannot express how beautiful Thailand is, and the print the Lord has left upon my heart from last month. I am so thankful for his blessings and the opportunity to be a part of the movement of his heavens.
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Posted in 8. Thailand by Amanda Stoesz on 4/20/2012
Growing up, you could only have one pair of shoes by the door. You were to clear your plate after each meal and to wash the dishes before anything else. Weekends and summer breaks always consisted of dusting the book shelf, raking the yard, pulling weeds and harvesting the fruitful garden… you get the picture. Growing up on the Stoesz farm has developed me into the individual that I am today, and I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. I like to keep my space clean and organized, and working with my hands has become therapeutic for me… yes, I enjoy yard work and sweeping floors.
This month we are living in our own little house, and it has been blessing upon blessing after blessing. We have our own space, running water, wifi and a private beach. With all of the freedom and space, it leaves room for necessary order and that’s where I come in. I notice when the electrical water heater is low, when the trash needs to be taken out, when the laundry needs to be done, when the floor is dirty, and when the lights are accidentally left on. I notice every little detail and it drove me nuts! I enjoy serving my team around me, but started to notice a change in the place that this service was coming from. My heart.
I started to notice how my thoughts towards my teammates were changing.
“I am such an annoyance to them, always nagging them to turn the lights or A/C off”
“Who am I to think that my ways and habits of cleanliness are any better than hers? Stop being so self-righteous all the time”
“No one cares about the way I like to have things, and they are not respecting or preferring me”
I had so many lies swirling in my head and heart and it was influencing the way I thought about anything or anyone, and my heart was swimming in this muk from Satan. I didn’t want to bring this to my team, because in no way did I want to come across like I was better and start crying over a dirty house, so I didn’t until last night.
I can’t handle this battle on my own, so I started to share my heart and to share my struggle, and became overwhelmed with emotion. I could hardly spit my words out without gasping for breath in between my sobs. “Goodness!” was all I could get out, and broken bits about this inner chaos. The four women around me surround me and begin to pray all together.
“Lord release her from the lie that she is wrong”
“Father, comfort her” ----------- All simultaneously voiced out.
“Send your Holy Spirit to hold her”
I was again, overcome with emotion and was shaking I was crying so hard. Then suddenly it stopped. The crying, the shaking, the tears… it all stopped and I was breathing normal without tears. Like someone snapped and there was a scene change, but I was still sitting with my hands up, and my sisters around me praying. A lightness came over me and I was at peace.
For God is not a God of disorder but of peace – as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.
1 Corinthians 14:33.
So I’m a little obsessive compulsive… and God made me that way. It is not wrong for me to be observant and responsible. My desire to serve those around me and to keep things clean is a gift from God. He is a God of order, and I am made in his image. The enemy has no ground on the progress and intimacy the Lord and I have found together, and I am incredibly grateful for the community he has placed me in this year to challenge me and to build me up once I recognize the point of dependence I have on a greater power.
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Posted in 8. Thailand by Amanda Stoesz on 4/19/2012
This month’s ministry has been all over the place, and of course, nothing like I expected. I was expecting to come into this month working with women enslaved to sex trafficking, a gross reality, but am in a small fishing village sharing Jesus in other ways.
My team and I are working in a village that is on the northern end of Phuket called, Thachatchai. We are living in one half of a duplex with Dana and Cindy Bratton, who have lived here for almost five years now. Dana came on a mission trip to Thailand after the 2004 tsunami and was shocked at the difficulty in finding bibles to share with new believers. After returning to the states, he heard the Lord calling him and his wife to full time missions in Thailand. So they up and moved here, and have been working very hard ever since to learn the language and build relationships with the locals here. Thai is a five tonal language that is very tricky to understand and speak, and with almost five years under their belts… they still have a hard time with communication. The church they have started is Calvary Chapel at the Bridge here in Thachatchai, and their vision is to create permanence with locals involving themselves in the church to sustain it in the future. Their days consist of visiting their neighbors, teaching English at the local school full time, cleaning up the small villages streets and parks, and discipling during home visits, bible studies and church services.
Dana and Cindy have been incredibly obedient to the Lord’s calling on their lives, and have been through thick and thin in these past five years. God has given them blessings to continue their ministry, and the strength to further the work that has been started here in Thachatchai.
Coming here this month has been incredibly humbling for me in more ways than one. My first month not team leading after 4 months of leading has challenged me to be more intentional about my pursuit in relationships with others, especially the locals and our contacts. God has also revealed to me what it looks like to minister and obey him with your everything. The example that Dana and Cindy show is beautiful. They have massive hearts for the Thai people, yet they still need the Lord’s provision as things can start to look impossible from our flesh’s perspective. They do not have reliable transportation here, and between the two small pickup trucks they have, one is usually in the shop, costing more money than it is worth. Dana volunteers twice a week to clean up the village, showing his love, but being limited in his work with the tools that he has to work with. They do not have consistent translation, and with their limited Thai, it is difficult to explain the entirety of the Gospel and God’s truth to the people here. Their desire is for the new believers here in the community to step up in leadership within the church, to potentially lead and run the church while Dana and Cindy transition back home into America. The need for Jesus in Thailand is incredible. 94.6% of the Thai people are Buddhist, 4.6% are Muslim, leaving 0.7% Christian. Some Thai have not even heard the name of Jesus Christ. Dana and Cindy’s submission to God’s call is incredible to me, especially being here, seeing the need, and feeling the darkness trying to enclose around the light that is here.
My prayers this month are for Dana and Cindy. I am praying for perseverance, trust, open doors, the Lord’s provision in this nation, and for him to send his angels to help them in all the ways possible. I am praying for your help too. These fellow believers need our help in this very real battle, and that can be prayer for their ministry,$10 for a rake, or a new car. To donate, you can click on their names above, taking you to their newsletter. There is a paypal link below the items on the left side.
I am asking you to please bless this couple, as they are reaching out to this nation with Jesus’ name. Please ask the Lord and yourself what you can do to help Jesus be known here.
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Posted in 8. Thailand by Amanda Stoesz on 4/14/2012
(This blog contains pictures that are not appropriate for young eyes... so please use caution when reading through. This is reality and this darkness needs light)
Welcome to Thailand. The land of the free, the land of smiles, the land of beauty. I cannot believe that I am actually spending a month of my life living in Phuket, Thailand. After spending a few days at the YWAM base in Bangkok, our new teams disperse and found the appropriate buses to our ministry locations. Double decker buses with complimentary snacks, reclining seats, and pink blankets… no complaints after coming out of Africa…. Hello Asia!
We arrived around 8 am near our new home this month, and were picked up in a pickup truck by Cindy. We ate rice soup at a little stand off the road, and after a little nap at home we packed back in the truck to head to Patong for the afternoon. Cindy and Dana, our ministry hosts this month, had a meeting to attend and wanted us to follow up with some new believers in the shops along the streets in Patong. We were given a box of Thai bibles, and some evangecubes to help share the Gospel with. I laughed inside at the idea of the cube that seemed elementary, but was instantly humbled at how enamored each listener was by the images of Christ’s life on this block. Most had never heard the name Jesus Christ before.
After spending no more than an hour on the busy, tourist infested street, my whole team could no longer ignore the darkness that was all around. It was in the side-by-side bars that lined the street, the foreign men in their muscle tees walking with two little Thai women on each arm, the foreign and local women walking around in hardly any clothing; it was even in the trash that lined the gutters. You can hardly walk down that street and not observe the pollution of some Western influence with both Starbucks and McDonalds at the end of the street, and the stimulus of loud music, naked women, and alcohol.
I was only on this street for a few hours, one afternoon, and was shaken by what I saw and felt. I’m not working in the red light district this month, most of the other A Squad women are, but I am still impacted by the immense need for love in this dark place. I have had the Jonathan David Helser lyrics to Wreckingball in my head for weeks – You can’t stay away, when love starts singing. This is my prayer for all of the women and men that walk up and down that street. To let love ring true in their ears and hearts, and for them to be wrapped up in love so deeply, that all of the darkness is brought to light. Please pray for these women that are enslaved to such a gross and obligatory way of life, selling their bodies to provide for their families; please pray for the men and women that travel in and support this darkness. Jesus is needed on this street, in Phuket, in Thailand, he is needed everywhere and I pray that when his love is singing…. Others cannot turn away. Please join me in singing his love.
Rachel and I shared Jesus with this woman and after praying for her, gave her a Thai bible. When we walked by her an hour later, she was reading her bible... there is hope.
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Posted in 7. Uganda by Amanda Stoesz on 4/1/2012
We have this saying on our squad, that correlates with whatever country or continent we are currently on. We say it when things are ridiculously out of the norm of anything we would ever do in America… and for the last 3 months, we’ve said T.I.A. This Is Africa. Cramming 26 people into the cab and bed of a small pickup truck to drive miles down a bumpy road, getting the entire soccer team to a game – Buying a bag of delicious popcorn for 500 Shillings, the equivalent to 20 cents – Showering as a team in the rain with a household of bystanders – Sitting in church for 6 hours every Sunday, preaching more than you even thought possible – seeing spiritual light and darkness in new and undisguised ways – peeing in the yard because we refuse to enter “the outhouse” due to risk of death by fumes – only eating rice, bananas, white bread and potatoes all in one day – Seeing the Milky Way in our backyard – Having the rainstorms pause your daily schedule – riding a dala dala, boda boda, or piki piki to and from town… you get the idea.
 
 
 
 
 
I have spent the last 3 months breathing, sweating, praying, singing, living, and being in Africa, and it has been one of the most challenging/interesting chunks of my life. Africa has been almost half of our race so far, and it has been a very significant part of my team’s growth, as well as my spiritual growth. We came into Africa after our rough month of India, and were stunned with the people’s generosity, the gorgeous landscape, and the volume and presence of God. We have evangelized to villages, and shared the salvation of Christ with people who had never heard his name before. We have preached over and over and over again, growing in our dependence on the sustenance that the Word offers, as well as the guidance and influence the Holy Spirit moves us in. We have cried and laughed together as a team and seen the absolute overpowering love of God infect our hearts to soften and genuinely love one another. We have been immersed in no electricity or running water and understood what it means to choose in to our surroundings, and put a smile on our faces every day, even when we don’t feel like it.
I have learned much about humility on this continent, and the Lord has walked me through fearing him above men, sharing what he has blessed me with, as he loves a generous giver, and how sweet the freedom his son Jesus offers to me. Africa has been challenging in the sense that I have been overwhelmed with zero privacy, and have been broken of my sense of entitlement to my time, space, and things – because our understanding of community is much smaller than theirs is here. I have learned to rely on the Lord for my strength and joy more here, and I have learned to trust him in his movement and conviction in my heart. He has spoken freedom over me, and told me that he is taking me into further greatness… and daily he shows me that trusting in him is what I am to stand on. His truth reigns, and he has been reigning in my life… slowly but surely, and it is more and more comforting every day.
We are leaving for Thailand on Monday, and I cannot tell you all how excited I am to go back to Asia, and to experience more of God’s power. I am praying for increased faith and that he continues to break me of my stubborn flesh, to submit to his authority over my life. Thailand is going to be filled with adventure, excitement, and passion…. Ha, I don’t even know what I am going to be doing there, but it’s going to be good.
I cannot thank you all enough for the support that you have given me throughout this entire journey. The emails, the blog comments, the financial support… and mainly the prayers. I feel held every day by the Lord, and know that you are all a massive part of that.
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Posted in 7. Uganda by Amanda Stoesz on 3/25/2012
The other night Elizabeth was sharing with us her reflections on the race and how different all of our lives are going to be in 6 months when we’re home. This is always food for thought, as we continue further into this journey, discovering our true selves.
During this specific time of reflection the other night, Elizabeth asked us what has been the biggest thing God has done in ourselves – what we are most thankful for. All 7 of us sat in silence, letting our minds take us to the past 7 months of our lives. Through all of the churches, all of the faces and names now engraved in our hearts, all of the cultural food, and all of the conversations had with one another. I was instantly taken back to my first month on the race, to our comfortable house in Romania. In my mind I was going through my morning routine of a devotional before insanity and a shower, and to the conversations we all had with one another to and from the church. I was reminded of the overwhelming feeling of belonging in the small community I was living with, two different teams at the time, yet confused at how I could feel so free with people that didn’t know me at all. They didn’t know that I can’t stand when seconds are left on the microwave screen, or that I received my first pink slip in 5th grade for swinging upside down. They didn’t know about my heartaches or celebrations……. But they still loved me and made sure I knew it, not so much in the words they would share with me, but the way they shared with a genuine heart. I remember falling asleep in my bunk, thinking about all of the stubborn routines I was trying to still hold on to, but having the sense of it not mattering. I was more comfortable around these people and in this lifestyle than I had been in such a long time. I remember sitting on the cold floor during worship, being constantly overwhelmed with awareness of my God. Absolutely overwhelmed with the work he were starting in me. He was exploding my soul with light; revealing my insecurities one at a time, breaking chains off of me… lies of inadequacy, unworthiness, stagnancy, pride… and there he was, ready to fill all of those new voids with himself and his light. He was not only speaking directly to my heart, but he was using everyone around me to build me up as a new daughter of his.
The other night when Elizabeth asked us to reflect on God’s movement in our lives over the last 7 months, I didn’t think I would be so easily overcome with emotion, and so quickly taken to what God has been doing in me the most. I usually think about how he has brought my voice out, increased my confidence, and called me higher. All very good movement, but this time I was brought to a simpler truth about his majesty. He has chased me all around the world just to show me how much he loves me, and how he didn’t waste any time in the process. People always joked that I was going to find my future husband during this year, and that I was going to make some lifelong friends. I laughed at both a bit, not taking them too seriously, because I was in a comfortable place before leaving. But I often tell my teammates how incredibly thankful I am for them in my life, because I have never had friends like I do here on the World Race. Little did I know how much love there is for me. Little did I know how much God wanted to shower me, overwhelm me, with his unfailing love. His love is not conditional on my actions, or my thoughts, it’s bigger than that… which is not easily comprehendible for us humans. I am humbled by how significantly insignificant I am in my God’s eyes, and how he plucked me out of my hum drum search of the “American Dream” of success, so that he could chase me around the world to solely pursue me.
In reality, we are all children of the Most High, and he desires to pursue us all. It’s a matter of recognizing his chase, and allowing for his love to soften us from the soul outward. He desires for us all to be under his protective wings of refuge. He is our rock, and our one salvation – the invitation into true life. How is God pursuing you right now? Because I know he is. Open your eyes to the gifts he places in front of you, open your ears to his whisper, and open your hearts to soak in the love we were all created for.
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Posted in 7. Uganda by Amanda Stoesz on 3/21/2012
I'm sitting in a bamboo hut with a tin roof. There are assorted plastic chairs, and colored pieces of cloth hanging on the walls. The view outside is of a banana grove, and seldom passerby's that are guaranteed to stare. I'm in church in Africa.
We were informed that our program for Tuesday was to preach from 10-5 at another church near this month's home. Seeing as we are not all pastors, preaching for an entire day doesn't sound ideal, but with seven of us, and Jesus, we know it's possible. We woke up to the first rain of this rainy season, and with our driver being 3 hours late, we finally arrived here around 12:30pm.
Even though we are 7 months into this trip, it's still shocking when we walk into a church and are treated like celebrities, ushered right to the front. Worship begins soon after arriving, and we should have known with the speaker starring us in the face that it was going to be loud. And it was. I cannot express to you the volume that Africans worship with. Sound systems are not only a necessity for these small bamboo huts, they are also yelled into, as if volume 10 isn't enough. Not to mention the generator needed to bring electricity to this banana grove. It's not only the literal volume of the sound system, or the puttering generator, but the volume of their heart's cry to the Lord, seen in their eyes and by the way they dance undignified. The clapping is even loud here.
In all honesty, it's difficult to sit through some African worship, especially with the language barrier, and insanely loud volume. As I started to pray to Jesus 17 seconds into the first song, I asked him for a joy I know comes only from him, for a smile on my face, for ears to hear this music like he does, and ultimately for his heart for these people that are worshiping differently than I do. In those few seconds, he centered me and reminded me that it's not about the African culture, or my new found WR culture... But it's all about Jesus' culture. It's about us all worshipping Him, and the unfathomable amount of joy he has in seeing His Bride sing as one. He loves hearing the Africans volume and he loves to hear me humming along, because he is the one being glorified, and that's what matters. It's not the literal volume of the speaker feet from my chair, but the spiritual volume we are giving to him in surrender.
Mmm... Talk about humbling....
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Posted in 7. Uganda by Amanda Stoesz on 3/17/2012
I have been relearning one of the most basic lessons in life during the last 7 months. We learn at a very young age that sharing is caring, and that we are always to be sharing with other people. I never thought that I had a problem with this until the race.
The African culture is VERY communal, and they. share. everything. Pastor Solomon told us our first night here, “You will notice that the people here share everything. We might not have a lot, but we always share what we have.” This is nothing new to me, as the last 7 months have been breaking me of pride and distrust as I am expected to share with my team mates all the time. Clothing is constantly shared as well as band aids, peanut butter, money, computers… almost everything that I brought with me has been shared.
When all of your belongings can fit into one bag, and that is all you have for 11 months, you can make one of two decisions. You can either get really possessive of what you do have, or you can surrender to the community you’re enmeshed in and share. I have been fighting the first, and slowly submitting to the second option, and it has been beyond humbling to live in Africa for the last three months. These people hardly have anything, but yet they are more welcoming and warming than people I know in the States who have 20 times the material. We are always fed when entering a home, while sitting on hand made wooden stools on the dirt floor. We are always welcomed in regardless of what the residents are doing… of course they have time to talk! And all of this is constantly coming out of a genuine heart. I am humbled daily by the way these people have a deep understanding of community, and don’t live from a place of “survival of the fittest” like we do in America. Or maybe they just understand survival in a different way… that when they don’t have the means to share, they know that they can lean on those around them, whereas us Americans can handle ourselves, and want to be self sufficient in our lives.
The beginning of the church in Acts 2 is described beautifully. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need (v. 43-45). What if this is what our church looked like not only to us, but to the entire community? That we had everything in common, and were selling our property and possessions to give to those who need it more.
In Matthew 6, Jesus talks about how we are not to worry. We are not to worry about the clothes on our backs, or the food that we are to eat. We are more than the worries that eat at us. When I asked myself why I have such a hard time with sharing my belongings, it’s because I don’t think that I will have it when I need it most… and that boils down to me not trusting that the Lord is going to provide for me in my time of need. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? (v.25) Yes… it is. I am learning that more every day. Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:6-8) The Lord promises to take care of us, that he loves a cheerful giver, and that he will bless us making sure that we have all we will need at all times. How good does that sound?
I am being humbled and centered daily by this culture, and brought back to the truth that Jesus promises. I want to encourage you to assess your lifestyle, your worries, and the way you are sharing with those around you in need. Because there are always others in greater need than you.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
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Posted in 7. Uganda by Amanda Stoesz on 3/7/2012
When you think of life, what do you think of? Maybe refreshment, a cool breeze, the over used “live, love, and laugh”, green grass… where does your mind take you?
This month in Uganda, we are staying with our pastor, his wife, and their baby. Solomon is a loud and charismatic fellow, and his wife is just as passionate. Every night after dinner and before bed, we sit around in the crammed living room with the lanterns on, in absence of electricity, and study the Truth. We started this bible study in John 14, specifically verse 6.
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
We started out our first night talking about how Jesus is the life, and Lily gave a great analogy.
When we get mail, there are two components; an envelope and a letter. Which is more important? Some said the envelope because it carried the letter, and others said the letter because it had the actual message in it. The letter is what is being delivered and is what holds truth in its message. When we get the mail, we are always excited to get to the letter inside and ripe away the envelope without much thought.
I have an envelope, as well as a letter. My clothes, my hair, my body type, my material… that is all my envelope. My perishable. But I also have a letter, a message, a deeper life within me… and that is Jesus. My non-perishable.
I have spent so much of my life worrying about other’s perception of me solely dependent on what I looked like. Especially my body image. I am still working through that, settling further into my identity in Christ, and the words that Lily used to describe this life and freedom in Jesus hit home. I have His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, living inside of me. LIVING! That never gets old to talk about or think about, because it is such an honor to house part of my Creator’s Spirit… inside of me.
When I think of life, I dream about eternity with my Jesus and my Father. I think about the impossible here on this earth during this short life time. I think about all that my title of a daughter in the King of King’s Kingdom entails and how honored I am to be a part of His magnificent plan. I think about all of the gifts and blessings God wants to lavish on all of his children, and how he wants all of us in line with His beautiful will. I get very excited about the fullness and abundance my Provider promises to me, and energized to share this life I know with everyone else I know.
Jesus you are good… too good… we are not deserving of this life, but are eternally grateful.
What does life mean to you and how are you sharing it?
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